My Carphone’s on the Pill - Rugburns

My Carphone's on the Pill - Rugburns
My carphones on the pill
And my girfriends got call waiting
Satans in the bagels
And my toasters masturbating
My computer has hard drive
And my disk is always floppy
My xerox has the runs
And it won't stop shitting copies
Help me
My paper want's some coffee
And my mother needs recycling
My fax is getting acne
And it needs some tetracyclene
My dog is late for school
And my son pissed on the floor
The percolators drooling
And the babys at the store
Would you help me please
The TV's watching me
And my control is in remote
Grandpas sucking carpet
And the vacuum stole my coat
And the birds are smoking ***
And my son lives in a nest
My daughter just got neutered
And my cat just got fake breasts
Now help me please
Yeah TV rules the house now
Mr cartwright is the boss
Gingers kissing maryann
And I'm in love with hoss
Thurston howe'll first is lusting
After mary tyler
More is always less that mr
Douglas is a styler
Green acres is the place to be
That eb is such a dork
He hit arnold the pig
And so tonight were eating pork
Help me
My coffee lost it's dentures
And my father needs reheating
My wife is always empty
And the fridge is always eating
The dust pans playng marbles
And the kids are in the sink
And the heater won't quit farting
And my mental health it stinks
Now help me please
My car went to the movies
And I'm locked in my garage
My bathroom went to art school
Now I piss in a collage
And the blender stole my credit cards
And bought some fancy duds
Everyone has patriots
But all I have are scuds
Help me please
My carphones on the pill
And my girfriends got call waiting
Satans in the bagels
And my toasters masturbating
Help me please