The ”Torchum” Never Stops - Frank Zappa

The "Torchum" Never Stops - Frank Zappa
Now dis nasty sucker is de respondable party fo de en-whiffment o' de origumal potium through de magik o' stage-kraff we be able to see him at woik
He now be preparin' some ugly sh*t to make yo' life even mo' mizzable den it awready are since dis batch be resigned to render him immortal we does not know if it gwine woik yet but we kin al
Hope fo' de best
Flies all green 'n buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
Prisoners grummle an' piss dey' clothes
'N scratch dey' matted hair
A tiny light fum a window-hole
A hunnit yards away
Is all dey ever gets t'know
'Bouts de reg'luh life in de day
An' it stink so bad de stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In de room where de giant fowah-puffer woikin'
'N de torchum never stops
De torchum never stops
De torchum
De torchum
De torchum never stops
(go on 'dewlla play dat lil' guitar one mo'gin )
Uh-oh I smells trubba he be messin' wit pigmeat heahhh muthaf**ker be rejectin' some co-log- nuh directly into de duo-deenum of de unsuspecting victim now he gone see if he immune to it by e
A dab hisseff
Flies all green an' buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig
In a chamber right near dere
He eat de snouts an' de trotters foist
De loins an' de groins I'd soon re-spersed
His carvin' style I'd well re-hoist
He stan' 'n shout:
All main be coist
All main be coist
All main be coist
All main be coist
An' dis-ergree well no one durst
He de best of cose of all de woist
Some wrong been done he done it foist
An' he stink so bad his bones been chokin'
And weepin' greenish drops
In de vat of galoot co-log-nuh
Where de re-zease be berlin' up
Berlin' an' uh boilin' up
Co-log-nuh
Co-log-nuh
Galoot co-log-uh-nuh
Oh do yoseff a favum 'n don't use it oooooooh look at these ugly suckers boy when white folks come back fum bein' dead they sho' gets scary-lookin' but don't take their appearance too ser
Y people '
Somewhere over there I can tell
There's a voice of
A potato-headed whatchamacallit
Who does not wish me well
His clothes are quite stupid
And also his shoes
He's got a big ol' duck-mouth
(who knows how he chews )
He thinks he knows something
About the great plan
How ultimate blandness
Must rule and command
He knows not a drop
Not a crumb
Not a whit
Of the reason for doing
This criminal sh*t
And then if he did
Would it matter a bit
Not at all
Because it is writ:
Our beige-blandish god
Tends to certify it:
"only the boring and bland shall survive
Only the lamest of lameness will thrive "
Take it or leave it you won't be alive
If you are overtly creative
Fairies and faggots and queers are
'Creative'
All the best music on broadway is
'Native'
Who will step forward
And end all this trouble
For beige-blandish citizens
Clutching the rubble
Of vanishing dreams
Of wimpish amusement
Replaced by a rash
Of 'creative' confusement
Soon my brave zombies
You'll make your return
Broadway will glow
Broadway will burn
Along with the remnants of
Everything new
My holy disease will do
Wonders for you
Those lovely producers
Who paid for you 'then'
Will do it again and again and again
The spying potato
With horrible diction
Will rot in the garbage
When this show's eviction
Takes place shortly after
My alternate skill
Of theatrical sabotage
Triumphs your will
I've a special review
I've been saving for years
For a show just like this
With potatoes and queers
I'll say it's disgusting atrocious and dull
I'll say it makes boils inside of your skull
I'll say it's the worst-of-the-worst of the
Year
No wind down the plain and it's hard on your
Ear
I'll say it's the work of an infantile mind
I'll say that it's tasteless and that you will
Find
A better excuse to spend money or time
At a tupper-ware party
So do be a smarty
Hold on to that dollar
A little while longer
For spending it here
Why it couldn't be wronger
What's happened to broadway
Where's it gone all the glitter
The 'heart' and the 'soul'
The patter
The pitter
And after this deadly review hits the paper
In will come roper bender