The White Boy Troubles - Frank Zappa

The White Boy Troubles - Frank Zappa
De white boy troubles
(White boy troubles )
De white boy troubles
(Boy got troubles )
Oh what a boidennn
(Oh heavy boidennn )
His car's f**ked up
De boy got a provlem
She ripped up de 'polstry
(Wit de red dress on)
Outa dat O-zo-mobile
(Tell me what I say)
Hafta go ta Tia-Juana now
(I don't have it)
He should go to BROWN MOSES
Way down in Egyppp-Lainnn
Looks likes y'done putty good heahh HARRY-AS-A-BOY I sees ya' growin' up like a w**d axmodently reproducin' YOSEFF 'n evvythang Done found some low-rent housin' in a one-dimensional cardbode nativity box on some Italian's funt lawn bunch o' crab-grass underneath de offspring fo quick 'n easy sanitatium sh*t Y'all provvly be savin' up fo yo first LAVA LAMP putty soon
We're incredibly happy Even though I'm gay for business purposes my relationship with artificial RHONDA has blossomed into something really beautiful although I must confess to being baffled by how she got knocked up
Well if de trufe be told it were de father o' de boy at de gas statium when y'sent de ol' lady in fo' de inner-tube patchin' 'round de foth o' July
QUENTIN How could he be so unfaithful I'm sure God has ways of punishing naughty little guys like that
Mights well stop complainin' boy De damage been done Leastways y'all can pretend to be SOME KINDA DADDY Yo' rubber b**ch ain't gwine change no diapers Y'said y'all was incredibly happy Enjoy it while y'got it boy De sh*t gwine hit de fan in a minute
What Something BAD is going to happen
You figgit out judgin' fum de intellectional expressium on yo' beloved's ignint face de b**ch gwine be contemplatin' A CAREER OF HER OWN See dat
Look like she got her one good eye on a briefcase 'n a tweed spo't coat down de mall somewheres
Durin' de intromissium few de SISTERS seen her 'tendin' a CONSCIOUSNESS RAISIN' MEETIN' over at de Hiltum Thass right B**ch passed up de MASH POTATOES 'n took off wit' de High School Cafeteria Butch
FRANCESCO opens the door and stands on the porch still watching through the binoculars
Makin' matters woise de Italian dat be ownin' yo' nativity bungalow been wondrin' 'bouts de hanky AN' de panky 'tween you 'n dem two concrete flamingos ovuh by de steps You been messin' wit de State Bird o' New Jersey muthaf**ker Dat kin git you five to life in dis vicinity If you wants a little frennly advice boy I'd be growin' my a** up a little quicker 'n whizz on outa heahh
Leave de ugly baby in de crab-grass snatch up yo' wretched excuse fo a woman 'n climb on up de heap Get yo'seff a job drivin' a truck fulla string-beans to Utah Make sumfin' out y'seff so's y'can afode a ticket to de MAMMY NUN SHOW Den we can piss all ovuh de adulterated wimp you gwine become an' get de sh*t rollin' agin'