The Adventures Of Greggery Peccary - Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa (guitar, vocals)
George Duke (keyboards, vocals)
Bruce Fowler (trombone)
Tom Fowler (bass)
Chester Thompson (drums)
The adventures of GREGGERY PECCARY!
Oh, here comes GREGGERY,
Little GRECGERY PECCARY
The nocturnal gregarious
Wild swine
A peccary
Is a little pig
With a white collar
That usually hangs around
Between Texas and Paraguay
Sometimes ranging as far
west as Catalina
Catalina, Catalina, Catalina!
This particular peccary
Is part of that bold (bold),
New (new) breed (breeding)
That extinguishes itself
By markings which resemble a
WIDE TIE
Directly below the
White collar
If it's white enough
Everyone will know
That the tie I'm wearing
Is a symbol
Of how nimble mv mind will know
Ooh-ooh!
(Swine suave!)
Look out!
Here he comes again!
Oh here comes GREGGERY PECCARY.
Yes it's cravv, cravy, veah...
Every morning, GREGGERY drives
His little red Volkswagen to the ugly
Part of town where they keep the Government Buildings.
Voodn, Voodn!
Boy it's so hard to find a place to park around here!
GREGGERY PECCARY takes the elevator
Up to the eighty-third floor of a grim,
Gray, evil-looking building
With a sign on the front reading:
'BIG SWIFTY ASSOCIATES. TREND-MONGERS'.
And what, might you ask, is a TREND MONGER?
Well, a TREND MONGER is a person
who dreams up a TREND
(Like 'The Twist' --- or 'Flower Power'),
And spreads it throughout the land,
Using all the frightening little skills
That Science has made available!
And so it was, one fateful morning,
GREGGERY PECCARY made his way through the Steno Pool . . .
Hi Mildred!
Hello Gladys!
WANDA!
Yes, from the moment they laid
eyes on him,
All the girls in the BIG SWIFTY
Steno Pool
KNEW . . .
Here was a
Nocturnal,
Gregarious
Wild swine
ON HIS WAY UP!
A Peccary of Destiny,
Adventure
And
ROMANCE!
Is there any mail for me?
SWIFTY'S!
THIS IS BIG SWIFTY'S!
AT BIG SWIFTY'S WE ALL KNOW-OW-OW
YOU'LL GO
FOR ANY GIMMICK OR GIZMO!
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE INVOLVED
IN A SERIES OF COLORFUL
TIME-WASTINC TRENDS?
AIR HOCKEY . . . biff . . . dush-h-h!
LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP
IS YOUR WIFE SNORING BY THE SINK?
LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP
AIN'T YOUR LIFE BORING, DON'TCHA THINK?
YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP YOUP
LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER
WHEN THERE'S SOME LITTLE SOMETHING
TO DO!
Does it matter that this waste of time
Is what makes a LIFE for you? Hmmmmm?
I must plummet boldly
forward
To my ULTRA-AVANT
Laminated,
Simulated
Replica-mahogany desk,
With the strategically-placed,
Imported, very hip water pipe,
And the latest edition of the
WHOLE EARTH CATALOG,
And rack my agile mind
For a spectacular
NEW TREND,
Thereby rejuvenating our limping
economy,
And providing
For bored