Twat(Hulme Playhouse 1983) - John Cooper Clarke

Like a Night Club in the morning
You're the bitter end
Like a recently disinfected sh*t-house
You're clean round the bend
You give me the horrors
Too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow's
Are lousy 'cause of you
You put the shat in Shatter
Put the pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You're certainly no raver
Commonly known as a drag
Do us all a favor
Here wear this polythene bag
You're like a dose of scabies
I've got you under my skin
You make life a fairy tale Grimm
People mention murder, the moment you arrive
I'd consider killing you if I thought you were alive
You've got this slippery quality
It makes me think of phlegm
And a dual personality, I hate both of them
Your bad breath, vamps disease
Destruction, and decay
Please, please, please, please
Take yourself away
Like a death a birthday party
You ruin all the fun
Like a sucked and spat our smartie
You're no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
On a dead consumptive's face
Speaking as an outsider
What do you think of the human race
You went to a progressive psychiatrist
He recommended suicide
Before scratching your bad name off his list
And pointing the way outside
You hear laughter breaking through
It makes you want to fart
You're heading for a breakdown
Better pull yourself apart
Your dirty name gets passed
About when something goes amiss
Your attitudes are platitudes
Just make me wanna piss
What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can't find a good word for you
But I can twat