The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions(Explicit) - Adam Sandler

And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college
Dean Well Michael I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall
Buffoon I got a snake man
Dean Yes pets are welcome here on campus Be it the traditional dog or cat or even the occasional reptile
Buffoon One time I fed it some beer man It was slithering this way and that It was all f**ked up
Dean I'm sure it was Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students and pets here on campus
Buffoon F**kin' Sh*t
Dean Yes that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy So tell me a little bit more about your background
Buffoon My father's a f**king asshole man
Dean Hmm I see Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son
Buffoon My mother's a piece of sh*t too
Dean Well I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed and ready to learn
Buffoon My teacher in high school was a stupid b**ch man She had her head way up her a**
Dean Well the quality of the faculty at a University such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school
Buffoon Your secretary's a real fat b**ch man
Dean Yes she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success
Buffoon I had diarhea last month I had to sh*t all f**king day
Dean Uh huh Well we all get the occasional stomach bug never a pleasurable experience So have you given any thought to your choice of major
Buffoon I've got a big f**king boner right now
Dean I see Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods of nervous tension I do not take offense
Buffoon One time I ate my neighbors sh*t
Dean That's understandable Well I enjoyed meeting you We'll be sending you our decision by the end of the month
Buffoon I bet you got really hairy balls
Dean Yes it's a veritable forest down there Bye bye