Your Children Aren’t Special(Explicit) - Bill Hicks

I don't know with all the margaritas
We buy we can afford a child honey
And I'll go you one further
And this is the one folksthis is the idea
That has made me virtually an anonymous figure in
America for the last sixteen years
I have watched my crowds dwindle and am going nowhere quick
If you have children here tonight
And I assume some of you do
I am sorry to tell you this they are not special
Oh wait wait wait hold on let's don't have any
Wait wait wait Don't misunderstand me I know a lotta y'all
Whut Whyyyyyy No wait wait let's be clear on this
I know you think they're special Hahahaha
I'm aware of that I'm just trying
To tellyathey're not hahahahaha D'ju know
That every time a guy comes he comes two hunderd million sperm
Did you know that two hunderd million Sperm
And you mean to tell me you
Think your child is special
Because one out of two hunderd million sperm
That load We're talking one loadconnected
Gee what are the f**king odds
Two hunderd you know what that means
I have wiped entire civilizations
Off of my chest with a grey gym sock
That is special Entire nations
Have flaked and crusted in the hair
Around my navel maybe even Gidea That is special
And I want you to think about
That you two egg carrying beings out
There with that holier
Than thou We have the gift of lifeattitude
I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping
BOOM
A Milky Way shoots into my jockey shorts
Ohhhhwa What's for f**king breakfast