This Is What We Find - Ian Dury

This Is What We Find - Ian Dury
Oi Reg meat and two veg
He done him with a ten pound sledge
He done himself a favour crash
Forty year-old arse-wipe
Mrs Elizabeth Walker of Lambeth Walk
Had a husband who was jubblified
With only half a stalk
So she had a milk of magnesia
And curry powder sandwich
Half a pound of uncut pork
Took an overdose of Omo
This made the neighbours talk
Could have been watching Frankie Vaughan
On the telly and giving herself a scratch
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
A sense of humour is required
Amongst our bacon rind
Hello Brian wash and iron
Try it on it's only nylon
Single bachelor with little dog
Tony Green of Turnham Green
Said Who's a clever boy then girl
Yes you know whom I mean
'Cause the mongrel laid a cable in the sandpit
Of the playground of the park
Where they had been
And with a bit of tissue
He wiped its bum-hole clean
A bit of claggy on the waggy
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
I must have had a funny time
On the Golden Hind
O vanitas vanitatum
Which of us is happy in this life
Which of us has our desire
Or having it is gratified
Hello Mrs this boy looks familiar
They used to call him Robin Hood
Now he's Robin f**k sh*t cunt
Home improvement expert
Harold Hill of Harold Hill
Of do-it-yourself dexterity
And double-glazing skill
Came home to find another gentleman's kippers
In the grill
So sanded off his winkle
With his Black and Decker drill
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
The hope that springs eternal
Springs right up your behind
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find
This is what we find