Vermillion Kisses - Barry Adamson

Once upon a time
A very handsome prince was walking along Dead Man's Trail
Morning had just about broken
And the wings of tiny birds cut through the rays of the sun
Casting slithering shadows as they went about their pleasure
The handsome prince was preparing to engage in this splendour
When all of a sudden he noticed a beautiful
And quite voluptuous maiden travelling towards him in slow motion
"Oh my god "
Thought the handsome prince with shameful excitement
"she's incredible and so very stimulating "
As the beautiful maiden approached him
He gathered all of his resources plucked up courage
And gave her one of his special curtseys
That would hopefully see him in with a chance
When he realised she was very tearful if not completely crushed
The handsome prince swallowed a wave of guilt
As the beautiful maiden now openly stood before him
Sobbing her heart out
Realising something was terribly wrong
The handsome prince put all of his hang-ups on the shelf and asked:
"What are you so inconceivably sad about if I may be so bold to enquire "
The beautiful maiden gave a big sigh
Which seemed to last a lifetime
As the handsome prince sat on the edge of his metaphorical seat
In preparation for her answer
She announced:"I've just seen my therapist
Who's convinced I have a borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits
Which means I'll be unhappy all my life
As nobody will be able to measure up to the fantastically high standards
That I just can't help but impose on them "
The handsome prince's heart exploded with joy
As in this moment he fell strangely and completely in love
"Why that's outrageous who is this doctor of misery "
The beautiful maiden had broken into the tiniest of smiles
And on seeing she had the handsome prince by the short and curlies
She began to weave a little magic here and a little magic there
"I've never met anyone like you before
Not only are you compassionate
You're also very handsome
I've lost my purse and the keys to my hovel
And it looks like storm and I was wondering "
The Handsome Prince floundered slightly then ejaculated:
"You're so very beautiful
I think I might die if I don't invite you to my castle
At the end of this trail "
"Would you like to kiss me my handsome prince "
His knees began to knock as he lent
Towards the voluptuous maiden in implicit expectation
When they kissed
The handsome prince felt a wave of nausea
And a pain in his chest as blood began to now pour from it
And the tiny birds dipped in the morning light and said
"goodbye" to the handsome prince
Who folded into a heap on Dead Man's Trail
The beautiful maiden exclaiming: "Ah there is one born every minute "