Cobwebs - Loudon Wainwright III

Well it stumbles and it falls off
Of almost every tongue
Give a listen and you'll hear
It's workin like a landmine
In almost every sentence
It's an assault to my mind's ear
Yeah it might have started back
With Jack Kerouac
Probably more than likely it
Was Maynard G Krebs
It's the 4 letter word
That used to mean 'as if'
And the meaning's covered in cobwebs
Cobwebs
Used to be a preposition then
It was a conjunction
Now it's used as an audible pause
Oh I hate it when
I hear it especially when I see it
Gotta stamp it out there
Ought to be some laws
Boys College valley girls mall
Rats grandmammas
Everybody's misusin that word
Cobwebs
Cobwebs
Cobwebs
I suppose you could blame
It on my generation
Chickens from the 60s finally
Comin into roost
I've been sayin it myself
For over 30 years now
Just to give my cool quota
Just a little bitty kind of a boost
But when I hear it
I can't stand it
Especially coming out of the mouths
Of one of my own kids
It's been taught and God
What have we wrought
Give a listen here what do we dig
I prefer ah or er
You can rest assured
If you're sayin what you mean
Then it don't mean a thing
It's just an ugly little 4 letter word
Doesn't anybody care or am
I the only one
I just Am stuck back
In some kind of a past
Maybe it's harmless
But it feels like a virus
It sounds And like
It's catchin on fast
Cobwebs
Cobwebs
Well it stumbles and it falls off
Of almost every tongue
Give a listen and you'll hear
It's workin like a landmine
In almost every sentence
It's an assault to my mind's ear
Yeah it might have started back
With Jack Kerouac
Probably more than likely it
Was Maynard G Krebs
It's the 4 letter word
That used to mean 'as if'
And the meaning's covered in cobwebs
Cobwebs
Cobwebs