Handjob， Blandjob， I Don’t Understand Job(Explicit) - Garfunkel And Oates

Riki
I got a problem and I can't contain it
I'll use my icky sticky rhymes to help explain it
Handy js are like stonehenge to me
Robert stack can't even help me unsolve this mystery
Kate
I'm the messed up child of a baby boomer
I was in the gifted class but a total late bloomer
Now I got a secret to get off my chest
Went from kissing to s*x but never learned the rest
Riki
In high school
I was in the marching band
Not learning what to do with my hand
While other girls were dripping like a jackson pollock
I blossomed later than mayim bialik
Kate
I'm investigating bones like deschanel
Trying to make it stand up like dave chapelle
When I stare down the barrel of a semi hard d**k
I feel more singled out than chris hardwick
Riki
I studied bach
Jacques chirac
And isaac asimov
But I wasn't on the ski bus jerking people off
Wouldn't let you touch my chest like you're vapo rubbing vicks in
Let alone deep throat your tricky d**k nixon
Kate
I wanna learn how to make your watergates flow
I'm resigned like spiro agnew that I might never know
How to hj your lb johnson
Know less about d**ks than samantha ronson
Riki
I should have explored new frontiers like wil wheaton
But I was more conservative than alex p
Keaton
I've fallen into crisis just like the dow
I wanna give a handjob but I don't know how
Hand job
Bland job
I don't understand job
Do I spit
Do I squeeze
Do I ever touch the top
How can I learn when you always make me stop
Kate
Now I'm on a full blown investigation
To unlock the secrets of ejaculation
I need a translator like I'm reading balzac
To crack the rosetta stone over your ball sack
Riki
The top is the part that confuses me the most
It looks like a silly putty pac man ghost
Sometimes it's jello jiggling
Sometimes it's denser
But they all look like a darth vader pez dispenser
Kate
Like sam jackson
I'm not as good with shaft
When it's soft and flabby like president taft
It's like a deep south queen that you wanna make straight
Will I make it upright if I move it like a shake weight
Move it like a shake weight
Move it like a shake weight
Riki
I'm pumping like breaks that aren't anti lock
Trying not to go psycho on your alfred hitchcock
I go a little faster and then I retard
It's like a hamster that you don't wanna squeeze too hard
Kate
I'm working my hand 'til it gets arthritis
I'll be holdin' 'til I get the golden touch of midas
I think
Therefore I am
Getting my descartes on
'Til I fully comprehend your marcia gay hard on
Riki
But the biggest
Throbbing question all's
Seriously
What do you do with the balls
Do I roll 'em like dice
Do I mold them like clay
Do I tickle them like elmo
Or throw 'em like a partay
Kate
Do I move 'em all around or cup it slow
It's like the two bald critic puppets from the muppet show
Just sitting there cranky and superfluous
How 'bout I don't touch them unless you insist
Hand job
Bland job
I don't understand job
Do I spit
Do I squeeze
Do I ever touch the top
How can I learn when you always make me stop
How can I learn when you always make me stop