Dreaming Of Throwing Up - A Wilhelm Scream

So I'm looking at this bottle and this bottle it speaks to me
It says get off the f**king train so I jumped down
These metaphors are for assholes and I'm not different
I'll get to what I mean but slowly
Roses and poetry that's all you want to be
It's not alive and not dead
It's looking for a reason to be
Not alive and not dead
You give me goals impossible and I get further from my own
If these were lies then I wouldn't be leaving
You had to need me
I tried this once before
It's just as insulting
What for
It's not alive and not dead
Looking for a reason to be
Can we find a balance a medium
My anger was a heavy weight you bore
Now I'm balancing meteors
I want to see you
But not alive and not dead
Show me what you used to be
I was looking at this bottle and the words made sense to me because it was all a f**king dream
A lie
I'm not alive and iĂ­m not dead
I just see my goals are impossible and I get further from them all
These mocking words
We buried both
What a world without you holds I had to know