Goddamn HIV - Mary Gauthier

My name is michael joe alexandre
I've been a queer since the day I was born
My family
They don't say much to me
My heart knows their silence has scorn
My friends have been dying
All my best friends are dead
I walk around these days
With their picture in my head
Spending my time thinking 'bout the things they say
I don't know whats happening to me
Godd**n hiv
And I don't know what all this means
I don't think it means what it seems
We used to party all night 'til the dawn
I can still see the boys with their tight leather on
In the downtown bars
Where it always is night
I can hang with my friends 's still allright
I was 30when the thickness first came
And it rode through my world like a wind driven flame
Leaving ashes
Memories
Funerals and pain
And I don't know what's happening to me
Godd**n hiv
And I don't know what all this means
I don't think it means what it seems
When I was a boy I get scared at night
My momma would come
Turn on the light
But there's nobody here with me tonight
And I don't know what's happening to me
Sometime at dusk I walk the train track
And I walk and I walk but I ain't coming back
I look at the sky so endless and black
Men I swear its swallowing me
Godd**n hiv