Cleaning Out My Closet - Angel Haze

[00:09.18]Now, this might get a little personal
[00:11.92]Or a lot actually Parental discretion is advised
[00:19.91]When I was 10, *************t, I believed I could fly
[00:23.61]I would just flap my ******g arms and meet with the sky
[00:26.80]And in my mind I would invision I was speaking with God
[00:33.30]And then I chop his ******g fist off and beat him with mine
[00:33.05]But this is just a ******g portion of the war with my mind
[00:33.69]So I'm a take you ******s back into the vortex of time
[00:39.75]When I was 7 invision me at the bottom of stairs
[00:42.74]And I silently swear that this is the truth no falacy here
[00:45.78]See I was young man... I was just a toddler a kid
[00:49.17]And he wasn't the first to successfully try what he did
[00:52.31]He took me to the ba******t and after the lights would be cut
[00:55.64]He whipped it out in sight of my eyes and forced his ******* through my gut
[00:58.88]See it was weird because I felt that I was losing my mind
[01:02.08]And then it happened like it happened like milions of times
[01:05.31]And I would swear that I would tell but then they'd think I was lying
[01:08.80]And now the power that he held was like a beacon in mine
[01:11.79]So now I got used to it, I put up with the *************t
[01:14.97]And now my hate was so Vocanicly eruptive and *************t
[01:18.27]But this is nothing 'cause I guess he told his friend what he do
[01:21.60]And they ate it up *************t I was like a buffet for 2
[01:24.64]And then it happened then at home where everybody ******g knew
[01:28.03]And they ain't do *************t but ******g blame it on youth
[01:31.27]I'm sorry mom but I really used to blame it on you
[01:34.51]But even you by then wouldn't know what to do
[01:37.64]And now it happened so often that he was getting particular
[01:41.19]And I more scared every time I worked in my speed and ventricular
[01:44.53]One night he came home and I was asleep in my bed
[01:47.41]He climbed on top of me and forced himself between my legs
[01:50.93]He told me
[01:51.89]\"Hey ray, I see you like them popsicle sticks
[01:54.22]So put your mouth on my ************* and suck and swallow the spit\"***（
[01:57.52]And I was confused but I was scared so I did what he said
[02:00.65]I had no idea the affect it would have on my head
[02:03.83]My heart was pumping it was stumping with like tons of my fear
[02:07.22]Imagine being 7 seeing cum in yo underwear
[02:10.26]I know it's nasty but sometimes I'd even bleed from my butt
[02:13.46]Disgusting right, now let that feeling ring through your guts
[02:16.59]I thought of offing myself I thought of killing these *************s
[02:20.24]Wanted to take a ******g brick and push their teeth through their liver
[02:23.27]Wanted to smash like the ******g world and burn it's leftover part
[02:26.41]Wanted to rip it out and just ******g step on my heart
[02:29.44]Then I grew up and I wasn't within a reach of these men
[02:32.83]But that didn't keep out of mother******g reach of my sin
[02:36.18]And psychologically I was just as ****** as they come
[02:39.12]I was confused I had to prove I wasn't ****** from the jump
[02:42.45]I was afraid of myself I had no love for myself
[02:45.60]I tried to kill I tried to hide I tried to run from myself
[02:48.99]There was a point in my life where I didn't like who I was
[02:52.17]So I create the other people I would try to become
[02:55.37]***uality came into play and with as scarred as I was
[02:58.90]I was extremely scared of men so I start liking girls
[03:00.67]I started starving myself ****** up my bodily health
[03:05.58]I didn't want to be attractive to nobody else
[03:08.41]I didn't want the appeal wanted to stop my own growth
[03:11.60]But there's a ******g reason behind every scar that I show
[03:14.99]I never got to be a kid so that's as far as I grow
[03:18.63]My mental state is out of date and that's how far as I know
[03:21.67]My biggest problem was fear what being fearful could do and
[03:24.80]It made me run it made me hide it made me scared of the truth
[03:27.95]I'm not deranged anymore I'm not the same anymore
[03:31.04]I mean I'm sane but I'm insane but not the same as before
[03:34.63]I had to deal with my *************t I had to look at my truth
[03:37.66]To understand that to grow you gotta look at your root
[03:40.81]I had to cut off the dead I had to make myself proud
[03:44.25]And I'm just standing breathing living proof look at me now
[03:47.49]I made it through everything I made you look like a clown
[03:50.63]I'm ******g great k ******g hate you ************* look at me now
[03:53.87]And I'm just saying this to tell you there's a way from the ground
[03:57.26]The makings of a legend is often hiden in thorns
[04:00.87]So just be strong and just move on and just accept what you can
[04:03.55]Because it makes your story better when you read it, the end
[04:07.46]That's the story of every scar that I show
[04:13.48]I made it out this a mean nobody's goten before
[04:16.82]I had to open my wounds I had to bleed till I stop
[04:20.06]Thanks for joining me here as I cleaned out my closet
[04:23.34]I said I opened my wounds I had to bleed till I stop
[04:26.84]Thanks for joining me here as I cleaned out my closet