I Wonder - Gowe

I Wonder - Gowe
Her mind was confused
with a plus at the tip of the tube
Sick as she threw up
with a cup take a sip of abuse
So she gets nervous
cause her man left her
After the sex and he jets
she thought that he loved her
You see shes 18
and shes a bit conscious
About her dress
and the reflection of her own image
Timid in speech
shes limited given a week
With her tummy blowing up
so that people can see
But she decides to keep it
said no to abortion
The feet kicks in her stomach
comes without a warning
She feels the pain though
cause her parents cry
And the shame eats her alive
when she closed her eyes
Then the day comes
she gives birth to a son
Kim Sung-Hoon soon
she holds and kisses her love
Wishing it never ended
taking a mental picture
Hoping through the tears
that her son would have a better future
I wonder if theres a smile
on your face
Sometimes I miss you
and long for your embrace
I never could thank you
enough for holding on
Dear mama mama mama
forever, I'll hold you in my heart
So she wonders
what happened to her son next
Is there clothes on his back
food on his plate whats the context
The recollection of the day
replays in her mindset
And the ways she would try
but just never could forget
Well he's okay
and he resides in the states
A needle in space in which rain
makes it a beautiful place
Embraced by the culture
and he's loved by all the members
Until he turns 18
and his world get flipped
He hears that his mom is not actually
his and that complications
Prevented her from having
any kids and his real mom
Is actually Korean and she had
to give him up for adoption
Cause she was young
and was a student
Lost and was confused and
wrestling in the moment
Am I Chinese or Korean?
Am I destined in this union?
And if I am what's the purpose?
I jot it in my verses
So I replay it in my mind as
I think about you
I wonder if theres a smile
on your face
Sometimes I miss you
and long for your embrace
I never could thank you
enough for holding on
Dear mama mama mama
forever, I'll hold you in my heart
If I could write a letter
and know that you would read it
I would tell you that I never once
in my heart felt hatred
Reinstated I would play a song
and dance with you
Hold your hand as I thank
the Lord for creating you
As strong as you are
cause in my mind I can't fathom
The pain and the guilt
when all you heard was their gossip
And still you stuck through it
when they called you foolish
And with this gift
that I possess your probably loved music
I hope you're doing well
I hope some day you'll see this
I hope I mean I really hope
that you know Jesus on a deeper level
Seeking just to know Him better
I hope in perfect timing we can
See the reason clearer
I hope you're smiling now
I hope I cross your mind
I hope you never second guess
If what you did was right
cause I'm so proud of you
I love and admire you
so after all these years
this is my way of telling you
I wonder if theres a smile
on your face
Sometimes I miss you
and long for your embrace
I never could thank you
enough for holding on
Dear mama mama mama
forever, I'll hold you in my heart
I wonder if theres a smile
on your face
Sometimes I miss you
and long for your embrace
I never could thank you
enough for holding on
Dear mama mama mama
forever, I'll hold you in my heart