Midlife Crisis Center - Various Artists

[00:00.00]Do you find your daughter's friends attractive,
[00:03.54]but know they look at you as just a dad?
[00:06.21]Does the typing pool at work think of you more as
[00:08.71]a teddy bear than a tiger?
[00:10.56]Do you whack off in your minivan
[00:12.61]while listening to teen pop?
[00:14.22]You know, you'll be dead soon.
[00:16.37]You've missed out on so much.
[00:18.15]It's not too late to make a change.
[00:20.48]At the Midlife Crisis Center,
[00:22.30]we know you've made a success of yourself.
[00:24.61]Why are you sharing it with others?
[00:26.86]Why not enjoy it while you have the chance?
[00:29.21]What's holding you back?
[00:31.62]Cowardice. We'll get you to
[00:33.23]the other side of your despair.
[00:34.98]We specialize in real estate, divorce attorneys,
[00:37.89]mistress placement, plastic surgery,
[00:39.65]hair coloring and replacement,
[00:41.42]male fur coats, and much more.
[00:43.61]With a designer clothing store and
[00:45.29]sports car dealership on site.
[00:47.24]The Midlife Crisis Center will
[00:48.87]help you rediscover life while you still can.
[00:51.36]Come with your wife, leave with a sports car.
[00:54.21]While you've made a success of yourself,
[00:56.48]her chest has gone south.
[00:58.21]How can you have that trollop on your arm
[01:00.80]for a second longer?
[01:01.83]The answer is, you can't.
[01:04.19]Ignore your children. Take yourself seriously.
[01:07.58]Visit the Midlife Crisis Center today.