Back Home Ballers - Saturday Night Live Cast

[00:10.728]Your girls are back
[00:12.797]Kate
[00:13.828]Cecily
[00:14.608]Sasheer
[00:16.140]Vanessa
[00:17.427]Leslie
[00:18.206]Cameron
[00:19.493]AND your Lil' Baby Aidy
[00:22.062]We're home for thanksgiving yall
[00:23.884]And our parents are real happy to see us
[00:26.448]So they're gonna treat us like queens
[00:28.783]This may be their house
[00:30.337]But for the next four days
[00:31.883]We 'bout to run this *****
[00:34.738]Walk in the door hand my bag to the valet
[00:37.026]In case your wondering it's my daddy
[00:39.627]Head straight to the fridge like a boss, yo
[00:41.961]Hell Yeah! My mom went to Costco
[00:44.298]It ain't my house, but I'll tear it up
[00:46.106]Get a plate real dirty won't clean it up
[00:48.438]Then I roll up to the washer, laundry game on lock
[00:50.761]Gonna do a whole load for just one sock
[00:52.827]Cause I'm a back home baller
[00:55.149]If I want something I just holler
[00:57.493]I do what I want, and I get what I want
[00:59.562]Cause my parents miss their daughter
[01:01.883]This whole damn house is a shrine to me
[01:04.192]Cause everybody here is obsessed with me
[01:06.783]My second grade drawings are framed like Picassos
[01:08.861]If I say, \"Mom, tacos!\" My mom will make tacos
[01:11.716]We always see a movie but it can't be R
[01:13.515]So we settled on Penguins of Madagascar
[01:16.106]And as a nice gesture I bought all the tickets
[01:18.184]Psych not a chance my dad freaking did it
[01:20.506]When my mom needs help, I pretend to be napping
[01:22.815]Even though I can hear all that is happening
[01:25.126]It sounds like she really needs help in the kitchen
[01:27.437]But if she thinks I'm moving then that ***** be trippin'
[01:29.503]I'm a back home baller
[01:31.826]And Grandma says I look taller
[01:34.159]They wait on me, Like I'm sickly
[01:36.225]That's the life of a back home baller
[01:38.779]Taking out the trash all my neighbors spot me
[01:41.367]They swarm around me like my own paparazi
[01:43.424]Talking and Stalking, They can't get enough of me
[01:45.746]Wondering, Questioning What's going on with me?
[01:48.347]So, what's going on with you?
[01:50.680]Uhh, the same
[01:55.856]Okay Jean, byyye
[02:04.867]Once everyones in bed, I go insane
[02:07.178]******e, *********, Crack-*******
[02:09.477]Are not what I want, I want cheese on chips
[02:11.831]And to put on some very old Crest White Strips
[02:14.144]Getting free wifi like a **** ass hoe
[02:16.477]The password starts with seventeen 0s
[02:18.810]Then b45ltng
[02:20.888]Then capital X
[02:21.923]Then 333
[02:23.209]Then 1458tdq
[02:25.523]And 314 and w
[02:28.622]Hold up! Yall don't even know pimpin' it is at my mom's house
[02:31.953]That ***** puts out so many bowls of things for me
[02:34.529]IT'S INSANE!
[02:36.073]I'm up to my ass in
[02:37.107]Bowls, Bowls, all types of bowls
[02:39.186]Chips and Mints and Seashell bowls
[02:41.497]My mom's got bowls for e'rythig
[02:43.829]Potpourri and **** and e'rything
[02:46.406]A bowl on the toilet, a bowl on the shelf
[02:48.486]A bowl of M&Ms, I can help myself
[02:50.807]She puts out these bowls for me
[02:52.886]And any bowl I like, I get for free
[02:55.197]Cause I'm a back home baller
[02:57.529]In pajamas that cost 10 dollars
[02:59.597]Tell my mother that I love her more than any freaking other
[03:03.148]That's the life of a back home baller
[03:05.216]Damn straight, yall
[03:06.759]Love you mom and dad, we out
[03:08.838]See you in a month for Christmas, we doing this all again