Classical Teacher - Tenacious D

Tenacious D - Classical Teacher
J:] Hey Kage
K:] Jables
J:] How goes it man
K:] S'good s'good
J:] Y'know I been thinking a lot about it and um
I just want us to be the best f*cking band in the world
K:] Well yeah me too
J:] There's no point in doing it if we're not the best
K:] Well s'true I agree with that
J:] I mean what yeah we're gonna be
Yeah we're really good We're like
Almost as good as Arcade Fire f**k that
K:] Yeah
J:] We gotta leave those f**kers in the dust
K:] What what do you
J:] All those f**king youngsters gotta f**king lick our boot Y'know what I mean
K:] Yeah Yeah well what how do we do that though
J:] sigh] Dude you need to have some lessons
K:] What
J:] I know you're really good but you gotta expand your game
K:] Lessons
J:] Y'know how Koby in the off season would go and like learn a
Y'know a Texas Two-Step or something to add to his arsenal
K:] Man yeah that's true That's true
J:] Well I've just been noticing some of your classic riffs are a little sloppy
K:] Really
J:] And I I hope you're not pissed off at me but I went ahead and hired a dude
K:] Yeah Oh no what
J:] Dude just give it a chance will you If you don't like- this guy hey I
Swear if you don't like it we'll f*cking fire his ass He's out
K:] Who is this guy I never
J:] His name is Felix Char
K:] Urgh what
J:] He's from Spain and he is the best
K:] Oh god
J:] I got him from theLondon Phildsarmonic
K:] Urgh I just I don't know him it seems weird
J:] Will you just will you just spend a minute with him
K:] OK Alright I'll spend a minute with him
J:] OK bro he's right outside I'm sending him in
K:] Oh god OK Why Lessons so stupid
F:] Hello
K:] Uh hi
F:] Hello I am Felix Char
K:] Hi uh Felix Yeah um
F:] Ah as Jack has asked me to spend some time with you Uh
K:] OK hm
F:] One on one So while Jack is outside ah we will work on your technique
K:] OK
F:] Can I see you pick up is this your guitar here
K:] Yup Yeah I gotta it I gotta it right over here
F:] Ah it is a Fender ay Is this a Fender
K:] Ah well it's a Gibson
F:] Yes a Gibson yes Made by the same
Uh manufacturer Pick it up please can you pick it up
K:] OK Yeah
F:] No no no d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap
K:] What What'd I do What'd I do
F:] You pick it up from the neck This is not the way you pick up a guitar
K:] I just picked it up I just-
F:] No no hey hey hey hey hey cállate tu boca pick it up from the body
K:] The what
F:] The body
K:] Oh the body Body OK
F:] I'm sorry about my accent
K:] I didn't know I didn't know
F:] Now listen to me I want you to play like it is a woman
You go and play the guitar now Play
K:] Uh OK Uh
F:] No no no no no You your fingers Your fingers are too tight
K:] They're too tight
F:] Yes let me get behind you Like this you see
K:] Oh Hm
F:] If I put my finger on your finger
K:] Hey
F:] Then you can feel
K:] I can Wait
F:] Sh sh sh sh shu Finger to your mouth I put my finger on your mouth on your lips
K:] Mhmhm
F:] Yes that's good
K:] Hey man
F:] Now listen hey you want to play like an orgasm
K:] I'm just try- what
F:] Feel this Do you feel that
K:] Oh God This is really weird man
F:] That's my cock
K:] What
F:] That's my cock in your butt cheeks
K:] Oh God Hey
F:] Do you feel it