Galahad - Josh Ritter

[00:18.17]The Angel of the Holy Grail saw Galahad come riding,
[00:21.87]So he took the Holy Grail off the shelf.
[00:24.50]
[00:26.12]And inside the Holy Chapel made for Holy Grail hiding,
[00:29.86]The Angel could be seen to smile to himself.
[00:33.02]
[00:34.54]If you're the Great Sir Galahad from now on,
[00:37.39]said the Angel,
[00:38.26]May all angels call me blessed of my race.
[00:41.31]
[00:42.48]If you're not the Great Sir Galahad I warn you,
[00:45.56]keep on riding,
[00:46.53]And if you are I pray you'll let me see your face.
[00:49.43]
[00:50.98]Galahad removed his helmet, said,
[00:53.11]Good Angel, look upon me,
[00:55.07]Fear not for I bring tidings of great joy.
[00:57.75]
[00:59.23]For long years the Grail you've guarded
[01:01.19]now you get to let me drink it,
[01:03.08]How happy must be angels thus employed.
[01:06.13]
[01:07.52]All the favours that you shower upon me,
[01:10.15]a simple angel,
[01:11.31]Said the Angel,
[01:12.29]Your benevolence abounds.
[01:14.18]
[01:15.88]Take your boots off, Great Sir Galahad;
[01:17.75]for by your astounding beauty
[01:19.56]Whatever ground you stand on turns to holy ground.
[01:22.25]
[01:24.08]Galahad took off his boots
[01:26.09]and he watched the ground quite closely
[01:28.20]And the Angel smiled to himself again.
[01:30.50]
[01:32.29]He said, I can't believe I'm asking,
[01:34.02]but Sir Galahad please tell me
[01:36.10]What is it that makes you want to go to Heaven?
[01:39.08]
[01:40.53]In Heaven there's no lamb chops,
[01:42.66]Queen Guineveres for hand jobs,
[01:44.61]*********, Kenny Rogers or ecstasy.
[01:47.48]
[01:48.87]No pillaging, no rape,
[01:50.59]perhaps you've come by some mistake to me,
[01:52.85]This seems more error than knight errantry.
[01:55.83]
[02:30.36]Now what about the stable boys,
[02:32.30]I know you think they're handsome,
[02:34.17]And some of them they think you're awful handsome too.
[02:36.73]
[02:38.66]And sitting up in Heaven you'll still think about them often,
[02:42.21]When you're an angel thinking's all that you can do.
[02:45.13]
[02:46.88]At this Sir Galahad got angry,
[02:49.09]Angel, he said, don't you tempt me,
[02:51.22]I wish to go to Heaven and not to Hell.
[02:53.51]
[02:55.00]So when stable boys look lonesome,
[02:57.04]when the women call me handsome,
[02:58.98]I'll hold my virtue very firmly by myself.
[03:01.89]
[03:02.89]I guarantee you'll hold it often,
[03:05.22]said the Angel, oh one more thing
[03:07.18]Before you drink the cup please take your armour off.
[03:09.99]
[03:11.65]I gotta carry you to heaven
[03:13.43]and despite what you'd imagine
[03:15.46]I have trouble bearing heavy things aloft.
[03:18.33]
[03:36.74]Galahad stood naked and a pile of his armor,
[03:40.31]His boots and helmet scattered all around.
[03:43.20]
[03:44.67]His perfect lips they sipped the Grail,
[03:46.94]his perfect heart commenced to fail,
[03:48.91]His perfect body fell upon the ground.
[03:51.34]
[03:53.00]The Angel smoked a cigarette,
[03:55.10]when he was sure Galahad was dead
[03:57.23]He picked all of his clothes up off the floor.
[03:59.81]
[04:01.28]Then I put on his boots and armor,
[04:03.45]I laid his body on the altar,
[04:05.44]Put his helmet on then I headed for the door.
[04:08.11]