[00:04.890]If you really loved me the way you say you do
[00:11.150]If you love me half as much as I love you
[00:15.010]You would pluck a planet from the sky
[00:18.807]You\'d use a falling star to dot the \\\"I\\\"
[00:22.776]In \\\"I love you\\\", that is what you\'d do
[00:28.765]You\'d take a dreary day and you would paint it blue
[00:32.539]If you loved me unconditionally
[00:36.855]These are the things that you would do for me
[00:40.359]Because I need you
[00:43.682]Like a fish needs the sea
[00:45.919]Like a fire needs oxygen
[00:47.659]Like a flower needs a bee
[00:50.180]And if you really cared for me
[00:53.801]You\'d let me video you while you wee
[00:57.009]Standing up in the bath
[01:00.166]I shouldn\'t even have to ask
[01:03.123]Perhaps you\'d even store a little more in a flask
[01:07.613]These are just the things that people do
[01:11.236]When their love for one another is true
[01:13.894]Ba du du
[01:14.762]
[01:15.031]We go together
[01:17.519]Like a toast and patê
[01:19.196]Like racism and ignorance
[01:20.831]Like jews and ogmoney;
[01:22.718]And if you really want to show you care
[01:26.172]You\'d let me wear your underwear
[01:28.870]When we go to your mum\'sfor a bit of harmless fun
[01:33.487]I just like talking about your childhood with some lace between my buns
[01:37.366]There\'s no reason for a big to-do
[01:40.886]If you love one another, it\'s true
[01:43.191]Ba du du
[01:43.976]
[01:44.301]We go together
[01:46.644]Like a bird in a nest
[01:48.517]Like Internet and kiddie-porn
[01:50.256]Like guns and the US
[01:51.783]And if you love me like you say you do
[01:55.487]You\'d purchase forty cockatoo
[01:58.331]And teach them to fly in formation in the sky
[02:03.551]And **** the words \\\"Tim is God\\\" on my ex-girlfriend\'s Hyundai
[02:07.620]Sure, it might be easier with doves
[02:12.871]But shirking challenges is not what love\'s all about
[02:18.126]Love is not all wine and roses
[02:21.659]Sometimes it\'s handcuffs and cheese
[02:25.093]No one said love is for free
[02:28.205]And if you agree with that
[02:29.684]You\'d sing me passages from the Koran
[02:31.646]Wearing nothing but your Bob the Builder hat
[02:34.186]To the tune of Waltzing Matilda
[02:36.976]I just love the combination of Islam, nationalism and builder
[02:47.971]
[03:27.391]Because I need you
[03:29.186]Like a tick needs a tock
[03:30.766]Like bananas need pyjamas
[03:32.724]Like a nun needs cock
[03:34.642]But if you want to put your love for me first
[03:37.808]You wouldn\'t go through childbirth
[03:40.213]You\'d agree to adopt, so that you could stay thin
[03:46.153]We\'ll get a Chinese kid - it could teach us Mandarin!
[03:51.870]And communists don\'t make as much noise
[03:54.664]And they\'re really good at sharing their toys
[03:58.643]
[03:58.858]Because I dig you
[04:00.517]Like an Aussie digs pies
[04:02.454]Like born-agains dig Jesus
[04:03.986]Like Jesus dug guys
[04:05.807]And if you love me just a modicum
[04:08.995]You\'d softly rub my perineum
[04:11.222]And stick a finger up my bum
[04:14.042]As I\'m about to cum
[04:15.464]I heard it\'s quite acceptable and suprisingly fun
[04:20.262]Now that I\'m saying that I want you to
[04:22.969]But hypothetically is something,it is something you may do
[04:25.699]You know,if you loved me unconditionally
[04:29.024]Like letting me video you while you wee
[04:42.428]Assuming there\'s nothing worth watching on TV
[04:50.669]